Tuesday, 12 April 2016

#47 - Newtown

If you're not familiar with the concept of hipsters, then you should definitely take a day trip to Newtown.  It is just packed with the type of place that hipsters love.  In fact, this place is so cool and quirky that it is in danger of gaining mainstream popularity, which presumably means hipsters will no longer be able to like it.

I think I've figured these hipsters out, and now have plans to open a bar that caters to their preferences.  It will be located inside a crack den, and the only way to enter is to crawl through a sewer, which of course has no sign to indicate that it is the entrance.  The bar will only open for 12 minutes a day, and we won't announce in advance when, you just have to turn up.  We will only sell different varieties of Lebanese Arak, but there will be no menu - you will be given whatever variety the barman feels like giving you.  Drinks will be served inside antique french horns, and instead of traditional chairs, patrons will have to sit on large watermelons.  Instead of a name, the bar will just have a smell.  You heard it here first.  It's a guaranteed money-spinner, but I'm pretty lazy, so you can probably beat me to it if you act quickly.

Blue Steel
Getting back to the point, it's a bit difficult to review Newtown because there is a lot of different stuff there.  I guess the first point is that it has a train station, which makes it pretty easy to get to.  The main street is called King Street, and is literally overflowing with cafes, bars, restaurants and shops.  Not too many are of the Starbucks or Woolworths variety either.  The more obscure and unique, the better, as far as Newtown is concerned.  My new bar will fit in perfectly.

There are plenty of things to see, but in addition to the aforementioned bars, cafes, restaurants and shops, there is also an abundance of graffiti and street art.  I'm not sure what the difference between graffiti and street art actually is.  I think it is how down with the kids your local council is.  There is certainly plenty to see, and as much as I mock, a lot of it is pretty cool.  There is also a micro-brewery called Young Henry's, which is worth a visit.  Make sure you grow a big bushy beard and buy a silly hat if you want to fit in.

Impressive how I actually manage to make this street look scruffier
Newtown is definitely worth a visit.  True hipsters will love it, while even normal people should find plenty to keep them entertained.  It's not too far from the city centre, but a very different scene.

Are you a hipster?  Do you find my gentle derision insulting, or do you actually like it, just in an ironic way?  Come to think of it, I'm being pretty sarcastic throughout this whole post - am I a hipster?  Post an ironic comment below.

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